the last ten days

Doughnut

It’s not gluttony if you’re still hungry afterward

I ate this doughnut in honor of Nayland Blake's birthday, which is today.

Make sure you have room in your heart for absolutely everybody

On August 18, Dan and Chris (no not me and Dan) got married in San Diego

I'm standing there in California, which in itself is a fresh batch of cookies for the soul.

The garden is packed with smiling people—each face trained on handsome grooms.

I'd known the couple to wed for years. We met for the first time in the spring of 2003 and liked another well enough to travel to Europe that autumn.

In the time we've known each other, Chris and Dan have taught me how to appreciate wine, the joy of British humour, hardiness zones for plants, and a host of other things that enriched my world view.

When I heard that after 14 years together they were getting married, I marked my calendar and hung the invitation on our fridge.

--

So there I was, back at the ceremony on that August afternoon.

A fella named Austin officiated with particular charm, telling the story of how Dan and Chris met. He spoke of their love for one another and for everyone that stood before them to witness that day. I don't remember all the words but I will say that I stole the title of this journal entry from Austin's recollection of the day:

"Make sure you have room in your heart for absolutely everybody."

I'm not going to try and butch it up folks. I cried at the apex of the ceremony.

These were tears for not only my friends, but for the very experience and possibility of their union.

As election day looms, I'm reminded that this marriage might be revoked if Proposition 8 is passed in California. And even though this is all going on with seven states between us, it's heartbreaking to see the news and advertisements from the opposition.

I'm reminded of words by Robert F. Kennedy,

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanish it with a program, nor with a resolution. But we can perhaps remember – even if only for a time – that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short movement of life, that they seek – as we do – nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness.

On that afternoon, in that backyard garden in San Diego, I shared some of that happiness, and I'm very grateful.

Here are some images from the day

Then Jim / Now Jim

They re-did the bathroom ( L:2006, R:2008 )

[ + zoom ]

Inspired by Young Me / Now Me

Current music: Depeche Mode "I Just Can't Enough"

Bears on the Run

Zen & Now Coffeehouse - Cincinnati, OH

Last night was Halloween I'm told. Er maybe it was Trick-or-Treating night? Does any other holiday have this flexibility on dates? So. Confused.

Drove down to Cincinnati to hear the comic and musical stylings of a traveling group of bears. If you're like me, you do these things for the social factor alone. You might bend elbows, meet handsome and friendly folks, or just get out of the house on a Saturday night.

I got all that, and 3 hours of downright excellent entertainment. Folk, blues, comedy, a little bit of rock and roll, and some other goods that don't fit neatly into categories. I can't do them justice with words, but there are pictures linked up below.

They're halfway through their brief inaugural tour, and if they come anywhere near ya – be you bear or bear friendly – carve out the evening and go see 'em.

BEARS ON THE RUN

OCT 28 : Tradewinds II - Columbus, OH
OCT 30 : The Grid - Cleveland, OH
NOV 01 : Spin - Chicago, IL
NOV 02 : JJ's Clubhouse - St. Louis, MO
NOV 03 : Tulsa Eagle - Tulsa, OK
NOV 04 : Club Glacier - Wichita, KS

Take a peek : some snapshots from the evening

movie bears

Mastermind behind the local version

Out in San Francisco, a fella named Dave started a group called the San Francisco MovieBears. They meet up to catch flicks and socialize. From what I gather, more than 200 folks show up some nights. That's pretty awesome if you ask me.

Sometimes it's hard to meet people outside of bars or sports agility.

Not to leave the midwest too far behind the times, Brian (pictured above) started a similar group for the Cincinnati area. The local free press did an article about it a while back (under the heading Bears and Queens here).

I finally got myself down to a showing last Saturday with Dan. About 25 fellas met up and caught the early show of the very macho Hairspray.

The movie was enjoyable enough. Travolta's accent reminded me too much of Mike Myers as some secondary Austin Powers character, but that didn't stop the good vibe. For material that could be beaten down by iteration, it holds up quite nicely.

Best bit though was hanging with the folks afterward for burgers.

The next movie is Saturday, September 8. Sign up with the Cincinnati Movie Bears Yahoo Group and save up for popcorn. All are welcome.

softball

the driving range next to the softball fields had this target

I went to see friends play softball last week out in Miamitown. (River City Softball League website)

Good times, cheap beer and highly recommended for something different to do on a Monday night.

A handful of photos from the evening

Buckwood revisted

June 29 – July 2

After a few fine trips to Camp Buckwood last year, it was time to return. The weekend before Independence Day seemed like a good shot, and we heard there were fireworks.

Experience proved handy when packing gear, avoiding chocolates and things that could melt, and stocking up on staples like beer, which Indiana doesn't sell on Sundays unless you're in a bar.

We arrived on Thursday, giving us a leg up on the holiday revelers and pick of the campsites. Friday and Saturday would see the grounds fill to capacity.

There were indeed fireworks. If you ever had a crazy drunken uncle put on pyrotechnics in the backyard, it was a lot like that, but better.

There was swimming, reading in the shade, good folks, evenings around campfires, and though I didn't carry my camera around very much, there were enough photos to warrant a separate page.

A decidedly green set of pictures from camping.

Bob Mould

Performing solo at the Southgate House

It was a stormy night and instead of staying in to watch movies, I got a wild hair to run down to the Southgate House and see if there were still tickets available for Bob Mould.

I was pleasantly surprised to find it was a no smoking show, with tables set up in a civilized manner on the main floor. Lightning flashed through the colored glass block windows, setting a nice vibe for the evening.

Local fella (Scott Cunningham ) going by the moniker Wake the Bear opened the evening with an acoustic set. Earnest and charming.

A Rolling Rock after he unplugged, Bob came onstage apologizing for vocal distress caused by Atlanta pollen, then jumped right into Wishing Well from Workbook. Allergies or not, he sounded great, pulling tunes from across his catalogue and making me recollect times I'd long forgotten. A time when Rolling Stone's college charts were my only connection to the world of music, and I'd zone out in headphones and pour over tiny lyrics in cassette covers.

Midway through the set, he switched to electric guitar and broke into Circles from his latest album.

I made the right choice not staying home.

5 photos from the show

sorted

for the most part

It's Friday night, St. Patrick’s Day, and I haven't even had a beer.

*rectifying that now*

(insert sound of footfalls to the fridge)

--

It's been a week.

I'm just looking photos and entries to see where I left off and what was left out. I have these grand ideas about how to somehow contain it all. And it's simply not possible.

I'm still trying to remember the good news from the doctor. That responsible feeling of depositing a check. The thrill of seeing great live theater. Checking out my mom's new kitchen. Spending time with folks I love.

There was even a blast from hometown past, lunching with an old friend. The kind of encounter that reminds you, even if you go in different directions in life, you hung out for a reason all those years ago.

It was all there this week—and some of it, caught through a lens.

This is the good stuff.

But two folks passed away this week. One, a friend of a friend, unexpected. And another a gentle, kind, beautiful person I met online, and years later in the flesh.

And now I sit here in the quiet, and think of all the people I wish I could spend time with, and all the people I can't.

postbear and links

postgaycowboy is next

And now some links, or a shorter way to say, "aren't you glad I'm not sending this crap to you in an email?"

Live webcam of the place Brokeback Mountain was filmed — It's gallery 6, "Three Sisters" (timelapse videos too)

Sing along with Willie — follow the bouncing dot for the gay cowboy song. (Flash, and not really worth the click)

Where I bought the t-shirt — And I must admit it is of excellent quality. Not sure if they're still for sale, but worth a shot (maybe he'll make more!)

Wiki defines bear — I never heard the term “pocket protector” before (in this context).

More random:

Let Them Sing it for You – Type in (simple) words and the magic of computers will piece together a song from other songs for you. (via)

Code Orange: The Slaves of Christo — Chronicle of two students who lived to tell about working on The Gates.

History of New York Egg Cream — I have yet to have one, but I know just where to go.

They Might Be Giants — are writing a song for every venue they're playin on their tour.

1,300 cereal boxes — I'm still looking around for the Halfsies. (via)

We Heart Gocco — The Wurst Gallery has another fine exhibition. (via my favorite sites)

Jack & Jackie O'Lantern

The rules were simple: we had to appear in the photo

A submission for the contest thing See all the others...

Windy City Rodeo

Cowboys and such

Been a nice easy going weekend. Went out briefly to Hamburger Marys last night, which recently expanded with a larger bar and a tiny dancefloor. The best part was that you can actually SEE folks there, and by that I mean there's tasteful spots and an under-lit bar.

Diverse crowd, music pounding, and courteous albeit distracted bartenders made sticking out like a sore thumb with my plaid shirt and bad shoes completely tolerable. Only something different piping through the speakers would have made it more favorable, but I think I'm outta the mainstream when it comes to that sort of thing.

--

Finally took some time to sort through photos from the rodeo. Made 'em square black and whites, not to approach the talent of The Octothorpe, but because I need to change things up from time to time.

So here they are: Windy City Rodeo 2005 - with folks from LiveJournal, Homorodeo and a total of one horse photo.

Balloons, Woody and Bears

and I laughed like I always do
and I cried, like I cry for you
and balloon man blew up in my hand
—Robyn Hitchcock

The topic of balloons came up after dinner last night. Maybe you've been to BigBoysBalloons.com and you already know they specialize in big and unusual balloons.

Everyone has their thing. But some quirks are exceptionally dangerous.

Like after watching the Behind-the-Music-like exposé of Grizzly Man (Timothy Treadwell) last night on ABC Primetime. They didn't focus so much on his intimate footage of bears, but more so, the tragedy that would become his life when he didn't get the gig as Woody on Cheers. That spiraled into a bout of drugs and some meandering until he had a religious experience up in Alaska with a bear.

It's no spoiler to tell you that he went bonkers filming these beasts, getting way too close and eventually dying by their paws. Oh, and even though they say he had a girlfriend—he was supergay. The full article is here. The movie is out soon.

The moral of this entry? Don't be too upset if you don't get the Woody part, bears kill fags, and balloons are your friend.

At Camp

Post river

One of the best parts of the rafting trip was the group of 30 fellas. Perfect size to almost get to know everyone's name as we randomly filled up boats, left wet butt prints on the bus seats on the way back to camp, and taunting our guides with innuendo over dinner.

I'd be remiss to forget the nurse that tended to a cut on my foot that'd been bothering me.

The evening ended with a flop of folks looking up at the ceiling of a geodesic dome tent listening to music.

TONS of photos from the trip

So long

Nursing drinks at One Mo Cup

It's been so long since I've hung out with the Chad, Jim and Kevin. Man how time flies and man how I've missed seeing these fellas—friends from long before the ol' bloggin world.

They seem to have left a few of their bad habits behind and replaced them with new, healthier ones. Among them, gardening (identifying plants as we walked around town), and eating better (though I made sure they stopped that immediately.)

It was hard not to marvel at Jim and Chad's hair, now so long. What Kevin had trimmed off they brought to me in a ziploc bag. (Long story, involved a bet that he wouldn't trim his beard until I'd come visit.)

When they're around, it's important to have pen and paper handy—lots of whacky ideas need recorded. We broke out of our usual anthropophobic selves and caught a movie, rented more, played with gadgets, traded music, and laughed. A lot.

They've an uncanny ability to scour my place and instantly find the things I wished I'd hidden. This led to a discussion for some great ideas on making guests feel really embarrassed if they open a medicine cabinet.

One extra bonus of having them over is they wake up stupid early and tidy the place from the previous night. Yesterday though, as they finished the dishes, knocking lightly on my bedroom door, it was time for them to continue on their trip and time to say so long.

My Anus is bleeding

Found this message on a telephone pole next to the parade route.

I went up north to Columbus to catch the Pride festivities in Columbus (somebody stop me from repeating myself). It was the biggest thing like that I've ever been to—and the folks, for the most part, looked so... .... ...normal. It was nice walking amidst tens of thousands and not knowing, or caring, what someone preferred in their bedroom. Lots of families. Some exposed boobies. And water was only a dollar a bottle. Which might seem stiff, but usually at big events I expect lots of markup.

The only thing that seemed oppressive on this day was the heat.

Camp Buckwood

4 Seasons Lodge

Just back from two days out at Camp Buckwood in Indiana. A friend suggested the last minute affair, noting the fine weather and summer solstice. Good enough reasons for celebration.

Although the campgrounds were relatively empty, it offered a good way to get to know the facilities. An outdoor pool, hot tub, really well constructed bathrooms and showers, hiking trails and a lake.

A quick tour of the lodge revealed a large dining area, living room, nice suites and a bunkhouse.

More than a few times, I thought we were in California, but with greener grass.

Cachorro (Bear Cub)

Late to the game, but didn't miss the party

This might not be the best movie to plop in the DVD player with grandma hanging about, depending of course how she takes to hairy men getting downright passionate with their naked selves. But after the veneer of gay is peeled away, dag—nice flick.

There was concern at first, as the subtitles started blinking by at breakneck speeds. Concentrating on text when there's so much beautiful stuff on the screen is hard.

Well rounded characters (not a pun) pulled the movie along, unfolding issues that got progressively heavier.

Lots to chew on (also not a pun.) My entertainment dollar, well spent—I'd like to see more movies made like this. And when they do make them, it'd be nice if I could actually go to a theater in Cincinnati to see them.

Cincinnati Pride Parade

The day, yesterday

Chris: We're pushed for time, can you sum it up in a word?
Spartacus Mills: No.
Chris: A sound?
Spartacus: Woouueerrrr.
Chris: Spartacus, thank you.

Pride begins

WOOF!

Pride begins in Cincinnati with Drag Races. I've never gone before so I didn't know what to expect. I stepped outside right before meeting up with Mark and realized I wore the wrong shirt. It was a hairdryer outside. My flopsweat created blotches resembling Australia and surrounding islands.

Anywho, the drag races sucked. Seems that everyone was at the bars though, so that was the upshot—with mini-pitchers of Long Islands and cheap beer.

Ran into Bob, Derek and lots of other friendly familiar faces too wise to keep a livejournal.

Totally a good time.

More photos that make Cincinnati look mighty handsome

the weekend in photos

It was great, I'll write more later

The city, parks, flowers and bears...
(Colors adjusted on whim)

The ol “make a video of yourself lip synching” meme

Go with yourself.

I just couldn't find a song I liked...

My tribute to Fiona Apple's MTV Music Awards acceptance speech as interpreted by Janeane Garofalo.

(Thanks to Brian for the idea, Pratt for the instigating push and Erik for the follow-through)

Related links:

• The BIG BIG list of videos (sadly lots of dead links) on LiveJournal
• Mr. Pratt's interpretation
• Erik (Bears Gone Wild's) version
• Brodie kicks it
• One Day at a Time (The three bears plus a shy girl)
• Dance Party with Seen
• Popular

iPudge

Yay

It's been a very t-shirty year.

Apparently CafePress was unhappy with the striking similarity of this shirt to Apple's iPod marketing. I'd be more concerned if I was iPod my Photo, given Apple's propensity toward lawsuit these days.

Anyways, with the removal of the gray screen, it was possible to put them back up on sale at the BearsGoneWild store.

I swear, I will not hawk shirts on here all the time. In fact, I'm not hawking. I'm showing off a birthday gift from a couple o Bears Gone Wild and thanking them publicly.

Acoustic

Jeffinthebox

Tonight's highlight: getting to see Jeff from Columbus, perform live downtown at some joint I'd never been to.

Sweet voice. Great (albeit too short) set. Got a CD but forgot a sharpie to get my tit signed.

I owe his other half a drink.

Afterward, the best pizza I have had in Cincinnati sold street level.

My mouth still waters.

Guerneville

A banner day

We got into camp mid-afternoon and the Marmot got right into getting the tent and cots set up. Once the shade tent (purchased oddly enough at Alberstons grocery store) was erected, we stole a picnic table and the crafts began.

I had cut out hundreds of fabric squares in red, yellow, green, blue and white in advance. Intended to mimic Tibetan prayer flags, we decided to scrap the white since the black paint would've made a big ol mess.

With a couple stencils made, folks would come over and try their hand at daubing fabric paint on with a sponge or brush. Martijn stole the show with excellent craftsmanship but it never would have been completed without the help of campmates Dave and Brian.

Already with the dozen of folks set up, the vibe of camp BearsGoneWild was taking shape.

Super-dooper good vibe.

This was a diverse group of folks, and I was happy to meet Shannon, a feller from Dallas I met at TBRU a few years back along with a handful of folks from this here journal. Some I'd met before, some were new faces, and some I simply forgot their names. These slips of my memory would be remedied by the days to come– the days of endless sunshine and perfect weather.

That night, I slept like a log on that cot.

The chef has left the building

Robbie and Brent

I somehow managed to sleep a little past sunrise on the deck, then the task began of cleaning up anything that was left aflutter from the meal that happened.

Once the truck was loaded up with dishes and pans and other implements of culinary magic, I caught the photo above and we sadly waved the lads onward to Napa.

We took our sweet time shaking the cobwebs before heading out for a day of thrift store shopping. On the agenda– buy trashy truck stop hooker clothing for the parade that would happen later in the week.

Damn Martijn and his frame for being able to fit in the most appealing of ensembles.

Dinner was leftovers, and it was just as good the second time around.

PixelBlocks

Jim is always that happy in front of his laptop, really.

I knew I'd have to head home at some point. Languishing in the company of friends is always nice, but I was starting to clean the kitchen and I knew where most of the pots and pans went. The home of the three bears is quite comfy. The space works.

With the two Macs on the kitchen table, one might imagine dueling laptops emitting banjo music. It's a recurring musical theme for me.

As Jim polished up a promo piece, I did my best not to be a Jonathan Livingston Seagull impersonator (a fly by shitting review). He's solid though, my two cents were unnecessary.

They pulled out some PixelBlocks. They are like clear little square legos that snap together in any direction. Hold them up to light (or a laptop screen) and you've got stuff that makes LightBrite look lame.

Before Ieaving, Kevin, Chad and I watched (most of) Sordid Lives (damn you Netflix and your scratched discs). We didn't get to see the last few scenes, but the movie was incredibly moving and hilarious nonetheless.

Dialogue swam through my head as I drove home in silence.

The Mud Flap Bubba

10-4 good buddy

One afternoon, while out in Grass Valley, Erik got some assets from Jim and the notion of fiddling with the mud flap chick emerged from the vapors.

What started as a few minutes of tinkering and vectoring, turned into an afternoon of "What about this?!" and new variations were born. It's nice when a few weeks of ruminating pours out in a burst of energy and pixels.

We just launched BearsGoneWild! for giggles. Give it a looksee, but beware of the hotness.

Carpet cleaning

Looks almost like Lucille Ball at the vineyard

Lhamo decided, as everyone zonked out watching projected movies on the wall, that the cool new (but really really old) carpet from Tibet would be a good place to pee.

Brent remedied the situation after several washings as the dirt from hundreds of years filled the bathwater.

Sunday

Fish, Gustavo, Robbie and Trey looking off

The party was good, and most folks survived.

Then we got Iku good and drunk for making such a great meal, then threw her in the hot tub.

Good food and extreme croquet

Iku prepares the salmon

I helped set up the extreme croquet field in front of the barn. The weather was a fine hot heat and the Budweisers went down well.

Neel came out the night before on his sojourn from St. Louis and more folks arrived throughout the day setting up tents and carving out spots to sleep. I must try and remember names... The other three bears, John and Joe, Fish and Robbie, Brian, Trey, Charlie, Kyle, the other Erik... dang, there were more... My memory slips. I also got to meet Phil and he got stuck sharing a tent. Hopefully I didn't snore.

Iku, a SUPER talented chick living in SF helped prepare dinner with Robbie. At one point we looked at her site and I was getting all misty eyed by a flash animation she made about friends.

Dinner was incredible.

Groups of folks littered around digesting the fine food afterward, until bottles were emptied and the sun was long since gone.

Sky Chair

Erik hanging out

Our last day up north and we spent time exploring the ponds, buildings, gardens and creeks of the area. This is where I sustained most of my damage, which is all healing up quite nicely.

Anytime a cut scabs over, or a bruise starts to fade, I remind myself how my body is doing a good job. It's those little inner positive dialogs that make me feel okay when I drink a Coke.

Tangent: I'm amazed at how a self-sustaining household can be a reality.

Recycling is nothing compared to what folks are doing outside of my worldview. Off the grid, water from wells, attention to waste and refuse. Just this efficiency that reminds me very much of Europe. It's beautiful.

Lots of activity was going on around the place as a new well was being set up and solar panels were going in. We spent some time in the sky chairs breathing in one last look, then headed home.

The five hours flew right by with a fully charged iPod packed with everything from Patty Griffin to Triumph.

(no subject)

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye

Ouch

It's been three wonderful years, but the leased life of the Land Rover is at an end.

Saying goodbye is never easy, especially with such a solid companion for over 50,000 miles. But frankly, I can't justify the ultra-fine interior with the feeling of unease I have at highway speeds. I can't justify the clean boxy lines with the dent in my pocketbook every time I fill up the tank. And lastly, removing this payment from the budget will allow me to work less. And like the hokey pokey, that is what it is all about.

I emptied the contents of the gas-hog and peeled off the Bear Pride and Switzerland flags this overcast afternoon.

I should get a boombox and play taps when I part ways for good with Ol' Salty (The Vehicle Identification Number started with SALTY, even though none of those characters are numbers). Just a detail and inspection left. Perhaps I can do a little roadtrip this weekend and see him off proper.

I'm a touch verklempt.

This isn't really about becoming post-bear, it's about letting a vehicle go back to its home.

Why am I soft in the middle

I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption

Damn it.

My 38's are starting to pinch a little bit more than they normally do.

Maybe I need to cut out the McGriddles.