Summer begins
In lieu of stories of snow
Jeb started it : View the tons of other submissions by folks:Charts and graphs of rap song lyrics
Late for lunch
My schedule has been outta whack for a while, but it got extra worse when Dan was gone for the weekend and I stayed up until 5am noodling on ancillary projects.
This put me in to work closer to lunch than breakfast.
One day this week I walked into the studio and yelled out for Tom. He was sitting directly before me camouflaged among the CDs sitting behind a makeshift spread looking forlorn—as if I had missed a special dinner date.
His passive humor was lost on me at the time. I was still groggy.
In hindsight? Quite funny, and genius in execution.
Current music: De Novo Dahl "I Woke Up Late"
I mean really looked at one...
Like Donkey Kong?
There is a song called "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins.
It is amazingly riduculous. Perhaps the worst (or best) meld of hip-hop slang and country twang.
Here's a link to the video clip on iTunes
There's not too much to report today. It rained like it was time to start gathering pairs of animals, and the puddles outside the front door got the best of my pant leg.
Similar to song lyrics bullet-pointed.
May the dorks be with you
Photo @ RebelScum
Yes, even my dork heart swells with emotion at this sight, but I actually teared up when I read they joined sweet voices to sing:
We are the members of the All-American league,
We come from cities, near and far,
We've got Canadians, Irish girls and Swedes,
We're all for one, we're one for all, we're All-American
I need a tissue.
Solid Rock Church
Just one exit up from the flea market is a Sonic, and if I'm ever in proximity of one I must stop by and pick up a Cherry-Limeade.
The added bonus is driving by the Solid Rock Church and seeing the completed Jesus rising from the pond. Maybe I've written about Him before when He was under construction with big wireframe arms. I think they need to carve a pullout on the highway for the photo opportunity.
Now he's done and rest assured, folks around the net have made variations...
From left to right: Touchdown Jesus, Jesus Hendrix, iGod, and what appears to be Jesus using Mac OS X with not enough RAM
For a laugh
I’ve mentioned how the TV sits dark most of the time. The thing that’s most on the screen is the reflection of lamps in the living room.
I turned it on this past weekend though and just let Comedy Central provide some noise. It was a string of stand-up comedians.
One fella in particular though, stood out from the pack. His delivery was semi-deadpan and his schtick was not easy to categorize. He had a penchant for words, twisting them around much like Steven Wright but with a sunnier disposition. At one point he used a poster sized pad for visual gimmicks and toward the end he broke out a guitar.
I couldn’t write down enough things, but luckily, there’s the internet. He’s got a handful of clips on his site along with lots of other fun tidbits.
In other news, it’s snowing in Cincinnati.
*Hat tip* to Tom for the image
We've all seen it before... Bill Gates: Tiger Beat, 1983
I suppose I'm still a kid gettin a chuckle outta these sorts o thing.
Go with yourself.
I just couldn't find a song I liked...
My tribute to Fiona Apple's MTV Music Awards acceptance speech as interpreted by Janeane Garofalo.
(Thanks to Brian for the idea, Pratt for the instigating push and Erik for the follow-through)
Related links:
• The BIG BIG list of videos (sadly lots of dead links) on LiveJournal
• Mr. Pratt's interpretation
• Erik (Bears Gone Wild's) version
• Brodie kicks it
• One Day at a Time (The three bears plus a shy girl)
• Dance Party with Seen
• Popular
Spotted at Barnes and Noble
I wonder if there's a salve for this epidemic.
In the aisles of Target
Yeah, I clicked on the thing that automatically updated my journal to spread a meme or something. Go me. I hate it when I fall prey. I hate it when links are not clear about what they are doing. But I suppose this is the realm of hackers and other kidz who use numbers instead of letters to type.
Anyways, a more interesting way to be subversive is to print out "GREAT FOR SEX" stickers and go around places and put them on things. Which is exactly what I did while out in California.
Like they need more subversion there.
Formulated for all mullets and rat-tails
I'm backtracking here, and I could list all the things that made Saturday so nice — but Jim already did that. Instead, I'll recount the Mullet Shampoo, a little gift I picked up while perusing the stuff-you-don't-need shops of the university district.
I figured, as a gag, it had short-lived grinning potential, but the real coup would be delivery.
As my kind friends agreed to entertain the three bears at their house for pizza on the patio, I went up to the bathroom and planted the said shampoo in their shower.
and self unconscious
So I realized something today, while in an office filled with people...
I think I walk around clueless to my surroundings
I went into the break room this afternoon and let out a big nelly sigh. I caught myself as a few folks looked up from their magazines.
I'm sure I do things like this often and think nothing of it, burping inappropriately and picking my nose like no one can see me.
While at the whiteboard...
So here I am in Wyoming, storyboarding some ideas on the whiteboard.
I let the client borrow my laptop and do some benchmarking and he informs me that someone is "masturbating non-stop in my car."
I realize that I left instant messaging on.
While I'm trying to talk my way out of that, I get another message from someone else.
"Pee on me." it said.
I have a lot of 'splainin to do...
My friend Tom is to blame.
Getting your friend to pose unknowingly with a box labeled SEX TOYS is a tricky beast.
And she just thought I was taking a photo to record the fact that she was borrowing my Steam Buggy.
Good sport, she posed happily again for a better shot once the cat was outta the bag.
5, 7, 5 x 5
dark and empty road
my morning jacket sings
warning light warning light rah
sumo buddies bob
bathroom dispenser drakkar
lot lizard head nod
semi reflected
lit like whooville christmas
dennis weaver duel
this ridiculous
endless gastank pilfering
maybe Prius next
orange barrel slow
count the orange syllable
orange julius
Special thanks to the marmot for reminding me of the economy of haiku
It seems you have a typographical error in your website. You see, your name could not possibly be a one Chris Glass, for I am indeed the one, Mr. Chris Glass.
My lawyer see's a great deal of merit in suing you. You see the merit is I am cool, you my friend are not. So in a sense, it is defamation of coolosity. And I site Arthor Fonzorelli vs. Kevin Fonzenni, 1978, a California jury decided that Kevin was in no way cool and that the true title holder to the "Fonzy" be bequethed to Arthor Fonzorelli.
I will not have my family walking around with shame. I am very important and I wear Polo for men.
Have a nice day, Mr. "Bert Johnson", if you catch my drift.
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